Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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