Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
BRING THE BAGELS
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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