Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize