Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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