I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
