I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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