just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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