i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
