Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
