I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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