i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
