weddingsv make me drug and hornr
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I have tasted many bathrooms
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