do herpes really smell.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
