You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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