I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
