I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
