We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
