ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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