The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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