so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
