Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
