I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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