please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
