the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
