I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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