just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize