Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
