I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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