he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
