if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
