ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
