I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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