loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize