and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
