In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize