Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
vagina is talking i cant
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
