Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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