fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
