Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
