Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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