So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
