a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
