You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
