Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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