did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
