so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you never un-have a 4some
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize