what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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