D3 body, D1 cock
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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