I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
