in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
They have beer where we have blood.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
