How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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