Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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