she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
