Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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