don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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