Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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