my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
40s are totally the cure
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
