My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
