I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
