How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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