1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
